Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just threw up on my dentist
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
