Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
