Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
