please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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