Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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