she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
