i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
