Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
