i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
