dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
