yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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