I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The air was thick with penises
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
