his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
