I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
