So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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