Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
