Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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