curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
