Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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