Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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