i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Green mimosas i think yes
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
