I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My Sexting was not on an AP level
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
