Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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