Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
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