I'm lost and stupid without you.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
