remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
