new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
