I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
