pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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