im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
