i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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