stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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