is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
