Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
