This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
