Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
