We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
