I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
