Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Randomize
