I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
high people should be assigned attendants
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
