She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
then he tried to convert me to islam
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
