Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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