is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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