Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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