so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
