Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
