I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
