Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
