I molested 6 butterflies tonight
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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