try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
