why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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