She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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