Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
