Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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