try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
