How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
