i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
and you fell through a lawn chair
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
